We are Legion. Expect Us.
BDSM is term used to describe personal dynamics that involve dominance, submission, and control. The practice typically involves one partner taKink on a more dominant role while the other is more submissive. According to a 2016 study, nearly 47% of women and 60% of men have fantasized about dominating someone in a sexual context. The same study found that BDSM sex was slightly more prevalent in couples on the LGBTQ spectrum, but researchers otherwise determined that BDSM sex was practiced across different ages, genders, and ethnic backgrounds.
In human sexuality, kinkiness is the use of sexual practices, concepts or fantasies that are not conventional. The term derives from the idea of a "bend" (cf. a "kink") in one's sexual behavior, to contrast such behavior with "straight" or "vanilla" sexual mores and proclivities.
It is thus a colloquial term for non-normative sexual behavior. The term "kink" has been claimed by some who practice sexual fetishism as a term or synonym for their practices, indicating a range of sexual and sexualistic practices from playful to sexual objectification and certain paraphilias. In the 21st century the term "kink", along with expressions like BDSM, leather and fetish, has become more commonly used than the term paraphilia. Some universities also feature student organizations focused on kinks, within the context of wider LGBTQ concerns.
Kink sexual practices go beyond what are considered conventional sexual practices as a means of heightening the intimacy between sexual partners.
Some draw a distinction between kink and fetishism, defining the former as enhancing partner intimacy, and the latter as replacing it. Because of its relation to conformist sexual boundaries, which themselves vary by time and place, the definition of what is and is not a kink varies widely as well.
Kinks can also be engaged in non-sexually. In one study, up to 35% of participants highly involved in BDSM said it was primarily non-sexual for them. Additionally, people who identify as asexual sometimes engage in kink.
Kink can be a healthy and empowering way to explore your sexuality, but it’s essential to do so with mutual respect, safety, and consent. By communicating openly with your partner(s), setting clear boundaries, and educating yourself on safe practices, you can ensure that your kink experiences are positive, fulfilling, and affirming.
Some “light” BDSM practices may be a good starting point for beginners. These can include:
In a relationship with two partners, one will typically play the dominant (dom) role, while the other will play the submissive (sub) role. This dominant and submissive dynamic is often referred to as a top/bottom dynamic. While the dominant partner, or top, is typically the one taKink control in spanKink, bonding, whipping, or other sexual scenarios, the submissive, or bottom, may also keep control by demanding the top perform certain roles or insist on switching roles.
Consent is more than "no means no" or "yes means yes." It’s a shared feeling created through constant, collaborative discovery, requiring voluntary agreement without coercion and fear mongering among those with decision-making capacity, knowledge, understanding, and autonomy. It involves slowing down to considerations of power dynamics.
Partners should always make sure everyone gives enthusiastic consent and outlines clear boundaries. These boundaries can be laid out in a formal contract or a verbal agreement.
Key Questions for Consent:
How easy is it to talk about your feelings?
Do you always agree?
Do you have any power dynamics to consider?
There are several different schools of thought regarding consent. A few of the major concepts are listed in this section.
Resource Consent Academy
SSC (Safe, Sane, and Consensual) A foundational BDSM principle emphasizing safety, sanity, and mutual consent. Safety involves mitigating risks with safe words, boundaries, and first aid knowledge. Sanity ensures rational decision-making. Consent must be informed, clear, and enforced. SSC is ideal for beginners but may be limited for complex or extreme play.
RACK (Personal Safe Sane Consensual) RACK focuses on informed consent to risks in BDSM activities, acknowledging nothing is 100% safe. It emphasizes being well-informed about risks, offering consensual agreement, and engaging in alternative sexual activities. RACK is more inclusive of edgeplay, prioritizing individual commitment to potential risks over minimizing harm post-play.
Resource Consent Academy
PRICK emphasizes individual accountability in BDSM. It highlights personal responsibility for actions, being fully informed about risks, and ensuring consensual participation in diverse kink activities.
An Accountability Circle is a group of respected individuals from the local kink community who provide advice and, if necessary, coordinate an accountability process to address concerns or boundary violations. Members may or may not also serve as accountability contacts. Purpose: To offer a safe, impartial mechanism for resolving issues, allowing attendees to discuss concerns anonymously or non-anonymously with a trusted circle member to reach fair resolutions.
The KECC establishes a code of conduct for kink educators and producers. It provides practical guidance for navigating ethical dilemmas and creates a framework for clear communication between educators and producers. The KECC is a roadmap for reasonable human beings, not a precise legal code. It should be interpreted using good judgment and good faith, seeking always to adhere to the spirit of the code.
Resource Consent Academy
Negotiation is a huge aspect of play. Both partners should:
Negotiation Tips: Discuss hard and soft limits, desired outcomes, and potential risks during scene planning. Documenting your risk profile helps clarify interests and boundaries for both partners.
Resource Bad Girl's Bible
Definition: A risk profile is a documented list of activities, desires, and limits that acknowledges potential risks in kink play, enabling quick decision-making during scenes. It helps tops and bottoms align on physical and emotional risks during the negotiation phase.
Components of Risk Profile
Purpose: Risk profiles facilitate informed negotiations by outlining desires, boundaries, and risks for both tops and bottoms, ensuring safer and more consensual play.
Activities to Consider: When building your risk profile, reflect on the following:
Yes, spontaneity can be fun and sexy, but it is not responsible to be looking for spontaneity with a brand-new partner, especially when there are as many risks to manage as there are with rope. Spontaneity is something that can come with time, experience, and trust with a specific partner. But when you begin playing with someone new, or with an unfamiliar activity, you need to revert to detailed negotiation until you both learn enough about each other to agree to introduce spontaneity.
We are all human. Check in with yourself and with your partner(s) immediately before the scene.
Have everyone take care of their physical needs before the scene:
If the scene is to have a D/s component, it can be helpful to give instructions to your partner beforehand, telling them how you want them to prepare.
Consider wearing clothes that enhance the feeling of the roles you both intend to play. Perhaps the submissive should be naked, perhaps in slutty or revealing clothing, perhaps in a corsets and heels, or a collar and harness.
This can apply to the Dominant as well. Perhaps you want a classic Fem-Dom look, or a tough look with heavy leather and big boots, or an urbane sophisticate whose suit hides all sorts of kinky secrets. Wear whatever will make you feel how you want to feel.
It can be helpful to have a preparation ritual to get both of you in the right headspace. Perhaps some outfit, clothes, uniform or maybe you do it at a particular time, maybe you take a bath, read your favorite BDSM book, polish your floggers, watch some inspiring porn, take a look at the this site and the tie you plan, whatever it is that puts you in the right mood.
You made a plan; generally try to follow that plan. But be flexible enough to flow with your partner’s and your own internal reactions. Keep strong communication. Check in on how they are doing from time to time. Remind them to do the sensory and motor checks we discussed in Nerves & Circulation. Remember that most communication is nonverbal. Look for their signals and use them to guide you to be lighter or heavier, more gentle or stronger, etc. Verbally verify if you have any questions.
Critical: Don’t add anything you had not discussed before the scene.
You can change the plan to make things lighter or to remove a planned element, but never add anything that was not discussed and agreed to before the scene.
People can enter an altered state of mind when in a scene. They are loving what they are feeling so much they would agree to anything. But agreement in such a state is not real consent. If they did not agree to it before the scene, do not do it during, even if they beg you to. It will take strength, but they will respect that strength the day after when they realize you protected them from themselves.
Afterward, at a different time when you are negotiating for a different scene, you can ask them if they want to put those things on the table. Maybe they will trust you enough to try more things with you after they’ve seen you keep your word and know that you will put their safety first.
Resource Nerves & Circulation
Unintentionally having things go awry is not inherently bad. It doesn’t mean that anyone is a bad person or was careless. What matters is what you do if and when it happens.
Respond quickly and calmly. Stay in control. Do what you said you would do when planning. If needed, gracefully end the scene. Release any elements of bondage and begin caring for whoever needs help. What they will need will be different in each case; use common sense and your preparation to help guide your care.
Demonstrate that you can be relied upon when things go wrong.
The time immediately after you have completed your scene is very important. It is these few minutes that can affirm that the scene was a wonderful experience or can sour what had otherwise been great. It is in these moments that you reaffirm each participant. Confirming that the bottom did well, reassuring the Top that the bottom enjoyed themselves and wanted what they experienced.
These moments recognize the humanity in all of us and help bring us back to ourselves.
Everyone will have different needs for aftercare. You need to make sure you cover this during negotiation so that you know and can meet those needs.
Over-the-counter pain medications (particularly ibuprofen and naproxen) help reduce inflammation and soreness that may be felt from micro-tears in muscle fibers that may happen if muscles have been stretched or put under stress beyond what they normally experience. Note, however, that aspirin, ibuprofen, and naproxen also tend to thin the blood a little (acetaminophen does not). If your partner is taking any medication that would conflict with a painkiller like this (prescription blood thinners, for example), it is critical that they follow all medical directives/limitations associated with their other medication.
You have been through an experience. You will be mentally and emotionally processing that experience, perhaps for several days. You also may have had various hormones and neurotransmitters rushing through your system due to what you experienced.
It is entirely normal to experience heightened emotions for a few days or to feel what we call “drop” (“Top drop”, “sub drop”). This is when you feel a little depressed. This is a common reaction to the highs that you felt. It is easy for some people to confuse this mostly physiological process with regret. If you are playing with someone new, make sure they understand that this might happen and that it is a normal physiological reaction that will pass. Invite them to contact you to discuss it if they wish, or offer to reach out to them in a few days to check in with them if they would like you to. (Don’t just tell them you will do so however, tell them you would be happy to do so and ask them if they would like you to.)
After you have had time to process, try to have a debriefing conversation together.
Shibari, in Japanese, simply means "to tie". It refers to a Japanese practice that involves using rope to tie individuals in various ways, often with an emphasis on visual aesthetics and visual expression. This practice can be explored as a form of bondage, a sexual activity, and/or a form of artistic expression.
Shibari places a strong emphasis on the visual appearance of the ties, often resulting in intricate and visually striking designs. In Shibari, there's typically a "rigger" who ties the individual, and the person being tied is often referred to as the "bottom" or "rope bunny".
Suspension rigging requires advanced responsibility, experience in floor-level bondage, a safety mindset, and a plan for skill development. Riggers must conquer ego, ask for help, understand heightened risks when lifting partners off the floor, and have a strategy to handle unexpected issues.
Preflight: Interviewing Your Partner: Establishing communication is critical before a rope suspension scene. Discuss the following to ensure safety and consent:
Personal History:
Risk Awareness and Management: Ensure informed consent by discussing risks, including:
Rigger’s Checklist: Before starting, confirm:
Using Mats: Mats enhance safety and comfort, especially for knees, elbows, and head. Use puzzle flooring or high-density wrestling/gym mats (2-5cm thick) for durability and easy cleaning.
Be aware of Risks:
Suspension Checklist:
Rigger Readiness: Ensure you’re fully prepared to take on the responsibility of a suspension scene by confirming the following:
Equipment and Environment: Verify the safety and readiness of your setup:
Scene Planning: Confirm all plans are in place:
Post-Scene: Prepare for after the scene:
Resource: The Duchy - Rope Bondage Resources
Resource: Crash Restraint Ties
Preparation: Suspension requires effort from bottoms too. Work on flexibility and strength to manage discomfort and shift pressure during scenes. Know your body’s needs and capabilities, and communicate any medical issues, especially related to joints, muscles, heart, circulatory system, or diabetes.
Communication: Your rigger aims to position ropes safely to avoid pinching nerves or blood vessels, but individual anatomy varies. Immediately report any numbness, tingling, or unexpected sensations. If a limb feels “dead” (e.g., unable to move fingers or toes), inform your rigger right away to adjust or undo the rope.
Safety Tips:
Resource: The Duchy Article on Suspension
Impact play is a human sexual practice in which one person is struck (usually repeatedly) by another person for the gratification of either or both parties which may or may not be sexual in nature. It is considered a form of BDSM. There are several activities that qualify as impact play. In erotic spanking the sub is struck on the buttocks either with the Dominant's open hand, or a rigid implement such as a paddle, cane or riding crop. In the latter case the activity is often referred to as paddling, caning or cropping. In erotic flagellation the sub is struck with a flexible implement such as a whip or belt.
Whips are classified by how many falls they have:
For safety, impact play should be done on areas of the human body well protected by fat or muscle; spots to avoid include the kidneys, neck, tailbone, hipbones, the head and all joints. The usual targets for flagellation are the buttocks and the two areas of the upper back below the shoulder blades. With care, the thighs, the backs of the calves and the chest can be targets as well. Breasts are another potential (but high-risk) target and should only be used with experience. The use of a whip means that the Dom must take great care to hit the intended target area and avoid wrapping; when a whip or flogger contacts the target area somewhere up its length and the remaining length wraps around the sub's body to deliver a sharp, non-erotic, and possibly injurious off-target blow, such as to the hipbones or ribs. The longer the falls, the more skill is required by the Dom to land a safe blow. Advanced flogging techniques use a pair of floggers employed in a martial arts style alternating pattern, a technique commonly referred to as "florentining" or "florentine flogging."
Less common forms of impact play include punching and face slapping. The sensations produced by impact play depend on the area in which the impact is concentrated. Wide implements such as an open hand, paddle or flogger produce a dull "thuddy" sensation. Narrow implements such as a cane, riding crop, belt or single tail produce a sharp "stingy" sensation. A slapper or smacker may also be used. This consists of a broad (3 to 4 inch wide) semi flexible leather paddle with rounded and tapered edges, designed to minimize the severity of tip strikes.
Kink events are gatherings that focus on exploring and experiencing sexual activities that fall outside of typical, mainstream sexual behavior. These events can vary greatly in their focus and intensity, ranging from more social and theatrical performances to private play sessions.
Location: Las Vegas, Nevada
Description: Full dungeon play areas, ages 21+
Dress Code: Theme-based (Fetish, Leather, Costumes). Clothing optional on-site.
Co-Hosts: Vary per event (riggers, Dommes, Local kink leaders).
Photography: Allowed with consent; professional equipment available.
BYOB & Mixers: Bring your own alcohol; mixers provided, no distribution or sales allowed.
Contact: DM via Haus Of Razorfist Instagram Profile or Razorfist Fetlife Profile.
Resource: Haus Of Razorfist on Instagram
Resource: Razorfist on Fetlife
Safety at kink events, like many aspects of kink, revolves around the principles of Consent, Negotiation, and overall safety of attendees. Haus of Razorfist attempts to create a safe environment for the community to gather. As such, the safety of attendees is addressed in various ways.
The events are vetted, and as such only approved attendees will be allowed to enter. This is both to manage the overall vibe of the events and bring like-minded people together.
Not everyone will be approved. That doesn't mean we love you any less, but it's our job to curate something amazing, safe, and with people of a similar vibe, and as such some will be declined.
Reasons for not being approved:
Newcomers: If you're new to town, we recommend going to local socials, also known as "Munches", and joining education-based groups, like Vegas Toolbox to meet others, and get some good education.
Because of the intense nature of some BDSM scenes, it is also important to introduce a safe word. If one partner becomes uncomfortable with any part of the experience, they can speak the word to stop the current act – or stop the sex altogether.
Another way to negotiate boundaries is through the traffic light system. Each color communicates how a partner is feeling and what they want. Red means they want the partner to stop what they’re doing immediately. Yellow means they want their partner to slow down, either because of physical discomfort or reaching a limit. Green means they like what the partner is doing, they feel comfortable, and they want to keep going.
Before you take part in more intense forms of erotic play – like the use of whips, advanced bondage techniques, or sex toys– it’s a good idea to educate yourself on these practices first, through classes, books, or instructional online content.
A dungeon monitor, sometimes referred to as simply "DM", is a person charged with supervising a playspace (or "dungeon") at BDSM events such as play parties and fetish clubs. A dungeon monitor may be of any sex or gender, and may normally identify as any role (dominant, submissive, or switch). On duty, their authority is absolute. If a Dungeon Monitor orders a play scene to stop, it must be stopped immediately.
Primary Responsibility: Ensure the physical safety of all participants engaging in BDSM play.
Structure: In most cases, there is a team of Dungeon Monitors, led by one or more Chief Dungeon Monitors. At private parties, it is typically the host's role to act as a Chief Dungeon Monitor or to nominate an attendee to serve in that capacity, possibly along with one or more additional Dungeon Monitors.
Responsibilities:
Volunteer: If you're interested in assisting the events as a Dungeon Monitor, please reach out to the host directly.
Purpose: The Haus of Razorfist Feedback and Incident Reporting Form allows attendees to provide constructive feedback on the event space and events, as well as report any incidents that may occur.
Resolution Process: Ideally, incidents should be resolved directly between individuals or through Accountability Circles. However, the host is available as a resource if other resolution avenues are unavailable.
Submit Feedback or Report an Incident: Use the form below to share your feedback or report any issues.
Resource: Haus of Razorfist Incident Handling Form
Co-hosts play a vital role in ensuring Haus of Razorfist events run smoothly and maintain a vibrant, safe, and engaging atmosphere. Co-hosts collaborate with the primary host to enhance the event experience through facilitation or performance.
Types of Co-Hosts:
Host Duties: The primary host oversees logistics, final attendee approvals, and overall event management, working closely with co-hosts to ensure a seamless experience.
Interested in Co-Hosting?: Reach out to the host directly via Haus Of Razorfist Instagram Profile or Fetlife Razorfist Profile to discuss collaborations.
Resource: Haus Of Razorfist on Instagram
Resource: Razorfist on Fetlife